Hello, page fright
The fact that any blog finally launches, however feebly, after several years of pondering it and putting it off, is a testament that even the most deep-seated resistance can be overcome.
But, oh, the crazy-making in the process!
An empty blog, theme freshly uploaded, is just as frightening as any blank page or canvas. It is paralyzing in all its whiteness. A first blog post is like the first sentences on a page, the first strokes on a painting. (Except that you also have to write the first sentence and paragraph of that first blog post. Talk about overwhelming!)
I first envisioned a blog called “Getting Creative” about five years ago, when I was devising a plan to leave my day job and go independent. I imagined that the blog would chronicle my journey from the moment I finally quit that job, and I’d write about the artistic things I was doing every day, and how my novel was coming along. Those were my hopes for how my first “year of living creatively” would turn out.
What I’ve found instead, over those past few years of freedom, is that the act of getting creative begins with a long inner journey–one where you just might encounter every fear, insecurity and unresolved issue you’ve ever had. (Though, give anyone ample time and space to sit and think, and that would probably happen to them, too.)
When I do have ample time, I find endless ways to squander it. My intention to fulfill the creative impulse is assaulted daily by this repelling force.
Pushing past that resistance is the first step of the creative process.